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The Day I Was Diagnosed Having Cancer

Sure youíll going to be worried learning about this piece of news. It took a lot of courage in me to discuss a sickness that is so close to death. It would mean the end of everythingÖ.From the traveling that I enjoy the most. From breezing through the lights and sounds of Los Angeles, the eye-catching Hong Kong-based signature clothes, the scenery of New Zealand to the aroma of my home sweet home. It would mean the end of my sleepless nights of chatting, and writing testimonials in friendster and other forms of letters. It would mean the end of my favorite past time which is malling.It would mean the end of being with my family who cares and loves me so much and it would be the end of hanging-out with my friends. I canít stand these realities that would soon unfold my future. Iím scared but I know I will survive.

It really is a fact that I upset a lot of people from the time I was born. Given that my name is SMILE, I should have brought smiles to people. Yet, Iíve been so hard-headed, inconsiderate, unforgiving, and most of allóselfish. Iíve been so crazy, oftentimes, fickle-minded. Iíve made decisions based from othersí perception not mine. Iíve been involved with my first boyfriend ever during junior year in College whom I love dearly until this very day. Yet, we are bound to take different paths and choices to make our lives worth living. My only consolation? We remained the best of friends.

On one hand, I often wondered why of all people I was the chosen one. Iím still young, active, and vibrant. But I guess there seems to have no choice but to accept my fate. Whatever reason it was, I donít know. Let me tell you all time and again, Iím not complaining but yes, I am sad. Wish I could turn the situation into a lighter one but it would not be. I just pray that people will remember SMILE as a human being prone to all inconsistencies. Let my memories stay with you allÖ.

ďATE SMILE, wake up!Ē shouted Joseph, my younger brother. Oh my goodness! It was just a bad dream! A dream that taught me not just lessons but revelations. All the while, I thought Iím dying with cancer but it was my SOUL and HEART thatís dying. What an eye-opener! Better wipe your tears away now my friends for SMILE is still around. But, I do hope this time a BETTER one.

Submitted by:

MERYL SMILE MATIENZO

MS.MERYL SMILE C. MATIENZO, is a B.S PSYCHOLOGY graduate from Letran-Calamba. She was the Vice-President of the Letran Supreme Student Council(2001-2002). She's a Senior Staff writer of the Knight Publication for three years and was a Dean's Lister during her College years. The author also was also nominated in the 2002 Ten Outstanding Students of the Philippines. She now works as a Researcher.




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