Article Surfing Archive

Q. I took a friend quiz in a magazine and it says that I don't make a very good friend. Can that really be true?

A. First, let me say congratulations! If the quiz said that you don't make a very good friend then you must have answered the quiz honestly, at least from the friend quiz author's point of view.

Now let's delve into the content of the quiz. The bad thing about a friend quiz is that it is automatically biased by the author's opinion of what makes a good friend.

For example: There might be a question that asks:

Your friend wants you to cover for her by telling her mother that she is sleeping at your house when she is really going to an all night party with her boyfriend. Do you say:

A. "No problem." B. "I'll do it but I'd rather not." C. "No way, you're on your own girlfriend."

What's the right answer? Well, the morally right answer is obviously "C". Would that make you a better friend that either "A" or "B"? Yes, actually, it would. There is a very good chance that something bad is going to come out of the all night party. Your friend could get drunk and become a victim of date rape, get injured or killed in a car accident, or get arrested if the police raid the party. As a good friend, you should care more about your friend's safety and security than her having a good time doing something that she has to lie about.

However, if the friend quiz rates you a snitch because you answered "C", then, according to the author, you're not a good friend.

Look. You don't need a friend quiz to know if you're a good friend, or if someone else if a good friend to you. Take the quiz for the fun of it, but don't take it seriously. Your heart knows if you are a good friend and what it means to have a good friend. Trust your instincts and not some stranger's value system. A person's friendship is far to valuable a gift to trust the results to a friend quiz.