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This time of the year is supposed to be happy. A time when family is warm and welcoming. A time for loving and feeling loved.

We watch the annual TV specials which emotionally choke us up. We watch those traditional, mushy movies like Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life which bring sentimental tears to our eyes. We watch those heartwrenching Hallmark commercials which make us sob dramatically. All of these portray the ideal and they always end happily.

But real life isn't like that.

Watching and listening to all the hype and sweetness reminds many of us of our losses. We think of the things we won't have this year, or any year ever again. The holiday season is actually the season of much depression and sadness. Just imagine for a moment how many losses a person of 70, 80 or 90 may have endured.

To help us understand those losses, here is a partial list.

• Hair
• Energy
• Parents
• Taut skin
• Hearing
• Stamina
• Career
• Muscle
• Eyesight
• Mobility
• Attendance at house of worship
• Hobbies
• Figure
• Friends
• Car
• Siblings
• Independence
• Spouse
• Finances
• Choice
• Lifelong collections
• Personal belongings
• Purpose
• Home

If the depression persists into the new year, get help from a mental health clinic. To voice the losses and the feelings can sometimes release them. Spend some time with elders this season and listen to their stories.