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It's a no-no to tell someone you don't like their gift because it's the thought that counts, right?

Sure, but just how 'nice' are your thoughts towards your gift giver who doesn't listen in order to know what your likes and dislikes are?

How disappointed are you when with anticipation you unwrap your gift to stare down at an ugly pair of socks, or when your husband of four years decides his wife would absolutely love a broom for Valentines Day?

Gift giving is more than just the thought. It's the thought, the gift, the intention ' the whole package. The best gifts are ones that directly think of the recipient, that's truly when the thought counts.

If you know your boyfriend will just about die for the whole collection of South Park, then why buy him a tie? What value would your girlfriend find in a pretty package of art supplies when she has no interest in painting?

We've devoted a whole page on our website with 'Horror Gifts' Received.

Take for example the man who received a box of chocolates from his girlfriend who should have known that he was allergic to it. Or the man whose girlfriend gave him tickets to a show he didn't want to see.

When it comes to your loved ones, gifts shouldn't be given out of obligation but from the heart. Gifts that are appreciated can be practical or they can be impractical. This depends on what your recipient wants or would like.

When I was at college I really needed a text book on C programming. I kept borrowing a copy from the library but there were times when they were all taken.

At that time, I couldn't afford to buy one for myself. How would I have loved a text book as opposed to the sterling silver bracelet my then boyfriend gave me? It was a lovely gesture but'

To find the perfect gift, we have to tune into that person. Listen to what they have to say. Did you watch the Friends episode where Ross bought Rachel the broche she had seen in a shop window some months ago?

What's what I mean by tuning in. Find what the person wants and then give it to them. That's when the thought really counts.

You know when you have done a good job with your gift selection when you absolute astonish your recipient.

There are times when we don't know what our recipient would like.

There are 'safe gifts' we can give. Safe gifts are flowers, a gift basket perhaps, even a bottle of wine - something that is popularly considered 'nice'. Safe gifts are what we give people we don't' know too well.

>From someone that has been disappointed many times and astonished others, if you are to give, listen to what your recipient wants. You will find they will treasure you and your gesture 100 fold.