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Hi! I'm a Happy Axe Murderer!

The shriek was one of complete, conscious fear. Their parents raced to the room. Matthew stood over his quivering, prostrate sister, plastic axe in hand, beaming.

Matthew�s father boomed, �WHAT HAPPENED HERE?�

His sister choked out the words between sobs, �He, he hit me with his axe.�

Matthew�s mother checked her darling daughter for gashes and contusions.

�She�s okay,� she assured everyone, �just shaken.� A cuddle, a kiss away of tears, and the six year-old sidled to her bedroom to avoid the inevitably loud reprimand.

�MATTHEW,� boomed his father, �WE-DO-NOT-HIT-PEOPLE-WITH-AXES!�

�No hit people with axe?� Matthew queried.

�No, we do not hit people with axes.�

�Okay, hit couch with axe?� He looked hopefully at his father.

His father sighed. �Yes, you can hit the couch with the axe.�

�Matthew fire-fighter,� he said as he repeatedly walloped the couch.

Matthew�s mother feared for the integrity of her sofa�s fabric. �Come here Matthew,� she said. He did, axe in his left hand. She lifted him onto her lap, took his right hand, moved it softly over her hair. �This,� she said, �this is how people liked to be touched.�

�Pat people, mama?�

�Yes, pat people.�

�And cuddle people?�

His mother smiled. He was learning. Realistically, juvenile detention could be ten years away but he was capable of learning. They wouldn�t have to worry about defence lawyers� fees eating into their non-existent retirement fund. She pulled him to her chest, �Yes, cuddle people.�

Matthew drew back, smiled, raised the axe in his left hand, �Then hit people with axe, mama?�


Submitted by:

Denise Tarka

Denise Tarka is a writer and mother of three. Her parenting blog can be found at http://oneiopen.wordpress.com Her recent short stories can be found at HeavyGlow, Chick Flicks and Four Volts. Her writing blog can be found at http://oneiopen.spaces.live.com.


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