Article Surfing Archive

We all know there's been alot of chaos lately about new anti-Spam laws and honest business owners like you and me don't want to have our businesses and ezines shut down due to false complaints. Yet we also know that true Spammers and Scammers will continue to get away with their crap.

Here's a prime example of *both* Spam and a scam that I received in my inbox a few days ago. I've interjected my own comments in brackets throughout.

"Subject: REPLY URGENT

Dear SIR,

[Since when did I become "SIR?" The last I knew, I was a female. So if you'd like to propose a joint venture with me, I'd appreciate at least being called "Ma'am."]

Thanking you so much for taking your time to read my request mail and your timely response too.

[You're welcome. I needed a good laugh.]

To be candid, we do not know ourselves before this business that has to do with Trust linking us up. We are strangers to each other. But I purposely wrote you in faith to sincerely know if you have the desire and the capability to do this business with me. I got your contact through the Internet with the hope that you have the qualities desirable in such business.

[I know *myself*, but maybe he doesn't know *himself*. Oops, I forgot he's foreign, so that explains the misuse of certain words that could possibly cause me to misunderstand this whole business proposal. I'll take that into account to be sure I understand all the details. After all, he did write me "in faith to sincerely" find out if I'm a gullible idiot.]

We are civil servants and not business men, so we have no particular investment in mind, hence we are equally requesting you to assist us in this regard as soon as the money is claimed by you on our behalf.

[Yep, he does think I have "Idiot" written on my forehead if I really think someone would hand me money for no reason that I have to claim for someone else. I wonder what the penalty is for money-laundering in this country? I don't think I want to find out.]

This business I am asking you into are in two phases:

1. I want you to stand as the beneficiary to this deposited funds after the legal changes have been made to your names as the true beneficiary of this funds and you will be officially informed by the security company about these changes. This means that you will clear/claim this funds on my behalf. In my proposal to you I made it clear why I want you to claim this fund for us.

[Well, which is it? Am I the beneficiary, meaning the money is *mine* or do I have to hand it over to this guy since I'm claiming it on his behalf? I don't think he made it very clear why *I* have to claim this fund for him. I'm beginning to feel like a scapegoat for something.]

2. When you claim this funds, we will invest our own share of the funds under your total control or advice. I believe you still recall my reason of soliciting for a foreign partner like you to handle this on our behalf. Your rewards for investing this funds for us will be spelt out as we progress through an agreement.

[Oh, now I get it. I have total control, but the money isn't mine. However, I do get to tell this guy how to invest it. I think I'll sell him shares of stock in my company. :) But since he's foreign, I get the feeling he won't have to do jail time with me when I get busted for whatever it is he's proposing. That's OK. I'll get rich from selling him the shares of stock.]

However, I want to let you know that I will be very happy to work with you as far as you promise to be honest and reliable with me over this business. Before we proceed I will first of all want you to clarify and affirm to the following points below:

(1) THAT YOU ARE AN HONEST PERSON

(2) THAT YOU WILL NOT CHEAT ME OUT OF THIS PROJECT.

(3) THAT YOU WILL BE WILLING TO WORK WITH ME AS A PARTNER IN THIS REGARD.

(4) THAT YOU WILL BE WILLING TO MAKE YOUR SELF AVAILABLE FOR A FACE TO FACE MEETING WITH ME.

(5) THAT YOU WILL BE TOTALLY COMMITTED TO ENSURE AN ABSOLUTE SUCCESS OF THIS PROJECT.

(6) THAT YOU WILL BE WILLING TO KEEP EVERYTHING RELATING TO THIS BUSINESS CONFIDENTIAL.

[Of course, I agree to all of his conditions. That's the type of person I am - honest, hard-working and full of integrity. Anyone who knows me, knows that. I'm definitely the gal for this job!]

As soon as I get your confirmations on the above points mentioned, I will move to the security company for the necessary changes to your names as the true beneficiary to this deposited funds, after which you will be contacted by the security company for an official appointment as regards the claims of this funds. On my own part, I am assuring you that this project is 100% hitch free as regards the processes and the procedures involve, because I have done my home work very very well. With your genuine commitment, this project is deemed to be successfully completed within a couple of days.

[I still don't know what's in it for me. Do I get a cut of this trust fund, or what? Oh, well, it doesn't matter. He's notifying the security company to put the funds in *my* name. But why is he specifically telling me it's "hitch-free?" Why wouldn't it be? He must be a great guy to offer me this deal, right? And he *did* do his homework if he picked *me* for this project.]

Also the following information is required from you:

1.YOUR NAMES AS THEY APPEAR IN YOUR VALUABLE DOCUMENTS eg, INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVING LICENSE, TO ENABLE THE PREPARATION OF THE DOCUMENTS COVERING THIS FUND TO BEAR YOUR NAMES SO AS TO ENABLE YOU TO CLEAR/CLAIM THE FUND AS THE TRUE BENEFICIARY.

[No problem! I'll send the information immediately. I don't mind someone stealing my identity so I can have this wonderful business opportunity. How come he didn't ask for my social security and bank account numbers, too? Doesn't the security company need those to do their paperwork properly?]

2.YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION (TEL AND FAX)TO ENABLE ME AND THE SECURITY COMPANY ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH YOU .

Please respond urgently as I do not wish to contact another person until you confirm that you are no longer interested.

[I better jump on this while I have the chance! I wouldn't want to miss out on having everything I own stolen and my credit ruined. If I pass it up, he'll ask someone else.]

PLEASE CALL ME TODAY ANY TIME AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MAIL, WITH THIS MY PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER 0031-64111xxxx

[I'll call him after I spend all the money I make selling him stock in my company. I'm sure he'd help me out with another business opportunity when I'm broke, don't you think?]

Yours sincerely,

MR. ROBERT ....."

[That's odd. This isn't the name in the "from" field of the e-mail I received. Who the heck is really offering me this terrific opportunity? I want to thank the right person.]

Where the heck are those e-mail police when you need them? This is true Spam and an obvious scam, but no one stopped it from getting to my inbox.

Maybe someone should forward stuff like this to AOL, Yahoo, Habeas and other companies who are quick to shut down the honest business owners, but don't seem to go after the real Spammers and Scammers.

Spam and Scams seem to go hand in hand on the Internet. *This* e-mail is the type that those companies need to get rid of. So where are they when the real Spam and Scams surface? Probably enjoying donuts and coffee at the local donut shop.