Article Surfing Archive

Well darlings,

They're back! No, no - I'm not on about another Poltergeist film. It's the official news that Mike, Matt and Pete (Stock, Aitken And Waterman - SAW) are at it again - together. The most successful pop songwriter/producer partnership in the world - ever! - have reunited after 14 years. Contrary to what we may have read in the tabloids, the three men have apparently remained friends throughout the years since they dissolved their partnership - with Pete and Mike still producing records together for another couple of years. Any difficulties there were between the three of them over their copyright shares, although unpleasant, was left to be handled by their lawyers and has now been resolved.

Pete, who has been a judge on the pop talent shows "Pop Idol" and "Popstars - The Rivals" decided against appearing on the current X Factor because his eldest son, Paul, was suffering from a severe and mysterious illness at the London's Institute of Neurology. Tragically he died from the illness earlier this year, just days after his father visited Buckingham Palace to receive his OBE. The past few years have not been kind to Pete. It was only in 1999 that Paul's younger brother, Pete Waterman Junior, was also seriously ill and fighting for his life after receiving serious burns following a karting accident. Although still grieving, Pete says on his web site: "I am going to be dedicating myself 100% to Stock Aitken Waterman from now on; I'm not going to be juggling too many things; I am completely focused on making this work. Not that it's going to be that hard'being back with Mike and Matt is like having some of your old school mates knock on your door and ask you out to play - it's great!"

The Stock Aitken And Waterman formula has been criticised by some for (they claim) producing a succession of manufactured acts that were destroying British music. Nevertheless, it has always been a favourite on the gay scene. Who could ever forget such fantastic floor-fillers as these: YOU THINK YOU'RE A MAN and I'M SO BEAUTIFUL - Divine; TOY BOY - Sinitta; WHATEVER I DO (WHEREVER I GO), WHO'S LEAVING WHO, MAYBE (WE SHOULD CALL IT A DAY) and the immortal SEARCHIN' - Hazell Dean; BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE and HANDFUL OF PROMISES - Big Fun (and they were!); YOU SPIN ME ROUND (LIKE A RECORD) - Dead Or Alive; LOVE IN THE FIRST DEGREE / MR SLEAZE, I WANT YOU BACK - Bananarama; I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY, THE LOCO-MOTION, HAND ON YOUR HEART, WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING, TEARS ON MY PILLOW, BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW, STEP BACK IN TIME, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, SHOCKED, GIVE ME JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME, WHAT KIND OF FOOL - Kylie Minogue, to name just a very, very few of their (far too numerous to mention them all here) hits? Many of those past successes can still be guaranteed to fill a dance floor in a gay disco even today.

Pete Waterman tells us they've still got the same enthusiasm, and it comes with some new ideas. Not wanting them to be trapped in a "straightjacket" by using an established singer (where they wouldn't be allowed to change how they sound) he's currently looking for a new artist that they can work with, and says that we should expect something from them in the New Year. I can't wait! But meanwhile we can all enjoy the Stock Aitken Waterman Gold CD and DVD that is out now, and in good time for Christmas. Don't forget if you're a SAW fan there's always PWL Radio at: http://www.pwlradio.com to stick in your Favourites Menu - and be sure not to miss the PWL TV section on there where you can view some video clips.

And there may be even more good news if rumours are to be believed: It's being said that Kylie Minogue is planning to complete the Australian leg of her postponed 'Showgirl' tour towards the end of next year. A Melbourne newspaper, The Herald Sun, has revealed that an announcement regarding the re-scheduling of dates will take place next month. The last news I heard on Kylie was that she had been given the all-clear and although she was still weak following the chemotherapy in Paris, she was strong enough to fly home to Australia for Xmas. Get well soon, gal! All your gay fans wish you a full and speedy recovery, and eagerly await your return!

Moving on: I found the statistics from Road File 05, a publication from the Road Users' Alliance, made interesting reading. They reveal: the UK's motorways are more jammed with traffic than those of any other major European country; lack of road capacity is damaging British business and is responsible for stunting growth in the regions; our roads carry more than 93% of all our passenger travelling undertaken; our motorway system ranks 15th in Europe (measured by length compared to the size of population); car ownership in the UK is still well below the European Union average; we pay nearly 70p (67% - more than two-thirds) of every pound we spend at the pumps on fuel tax; along with having the highest fuel taxes in Europe, we have one of the worst road networks; and of the '43.5 billion a year that is collected in taxes from our motorists, only '6.58 billion is re-invested in the roads.

I suppose we already knew, or had a rough idea of, most of that information, didn't we? But what I didn't know, and I find really enlightening, is that our roads only actually occupy less than 1% of the land mass of Great Britain. Somehow, now knowing that, I think I might hereafter find it very hard to sympathise with any objectors to the couple of yards needed on either side of a motorway for another lane. How about you?

There seems to have been loads of facts and figures in the last week's news. All in all it's been quite a thinking week. I mean, we all know what binge drinking and yob culture can do to a town, don't we? But I've never before looked at it from an insurance company's viewpoint.

The insurance giant AXA surveyed almost 1,000 companies and the results showed that more than half blamed the yob culture for an increase in crimes against their businesses - with those crimes including burglary, assault and anti-social behaviour. Their research showed that businesses are living in fear of becoming victims. AXA believe they have just cause too, as the problem could get worse when new licensing laws allowing 24-hour drinking come into force this week.

And that got me thinking: what does an insurance company normally do when they suspect the risk is increasing? Yes, they put up the premiums, don't they? So that's quite possibly yet another downside to the 24 hour drinking that few had thought about until now.

Then having started thinking, I put my brain into second gear and I imagined two nearby stores selling very much the same products. What happens, I wondered, if one has its giant plate glass windows broken several times by yobs, and the other one doesn't? Quite obviously, having made some very expensive claims, the already a victim becomes persecuted even more as the premiums rise for that shop - but not for the lucky nearby one.

Unless this shop is a part of some large chain where the costs may be spread throughout, any level playing field there would have been where one might have expected some healthy competition is gone. By passing on the additional expense to the customer, as the privately owned shop would undoubtedly need to do, it immediately becomes at risk of being uncompetitive. Being insured may not save this business from a downward spiral into oblivion.

I guess that's two things now that I shall be looking at differently. No more will I simply be able to walk past thinking: 'Bl##dy yobs! I'll bet that window will cost a packet to replace. I hope the owner is insured against having the windows broken.' In some cases, being insured may only go to prolong the owner's agony.

Finally, you must all have heard of the saying that one knows they are getting old when all the policemen seem to be so young. Well darlings, I have another one for you. You know you are getting old when all the old wives tales you once enjoyed being ridiculed and seeing proved wrong, you now enjoy seeing being proved correct.

For years the way that our grandmothers would insist that we should wrap up warm and keep dry otherwise we would catch a chill and fall ill has been ridiculed as simply an old wives tale; something with no foundation. How we loved to prove grandma wrong, didn't we? But now tests done by researchers from the Common Cold Centre at Cardiff University have shown that being chilly, cold and wet - even for a mere twenty minutes, really can cause a cold to develop. Grandma was right all along.

Other tales once ridiculed, but that have now been proven to have substance: Drinking chicken soup relieves the symptoms of a cold. Feed a cold, but starve a fever. And skipping breakfast increases the risk of catching colds and flu. These, all once old wives tales, have now through scientific tests been proven to be accurate - and somehow I now find myself happy that grandma really did know her stuff. God! I truly must be getting old!

I'll leave you with another thing that my grandmother used to tell me: "Spare the rod and spoil the child." With the yob factor that we suffer today, I'm inclined to believe this tale may be correct too! And I'm just wondering how long it will take for science to prove it!

See you all next week...

"The Bitch!" 18/11/05.