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OTHER ITA SITES:
A Little Piece Of My Heart
Well, a little piece of my heart got torn out today.
Today is the day Alison moved into her new dorm over at Georgia College and State University. The day the next portion of her life officially begins. The day she takes one big step towards full fledged adulthood. The day she breaks away from her mom and dad, her home, her brother, and the life she has enjoyed up to this point. This is the day. Her time has arrived.
It just doesn’t seem possible, to put it mildly. I can’t stop thinking about her, and the profound impact she’s had on my life. The memories seem to flow just like water, and it’s like my mind keeps pouring them out, one upon the other, in a seemingly illogical sequence.
I think about the little girl who scampered out her bed early each Saturday morning to watch cartoons. And watch them with me. Not just any cartoons, either. For Alison, it had to be the old Warner Brothers cartoons, and more specifically, it had to be either Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam, Foghorn Leghorn, or Pepe LePew. She would laugh at them, point out and explain to me what they were doing, and she never tired of watching them. In fact, during the week she’d miss them so much that I took a video tape and recorded Warner Brothers cartoons on it so that she could watch them anytime she wanted. I ended up with about with six hours worth on one video tape, and I’d give anything if I could locate that tape today.
I think about the little one year old girl who loved to stand up in her daddy’s lap and bite the tip of his nose. It was the wildest thing - I would hold her up in my lap so that she would be looking right at me. And I would try to make her laugh, and sometimes she would, but somewhere in the course of events she would get fixated on my nose. And before I blinked she would nip the tip of it with her tiny little gums. I always laughed when she did that, until she bit my nose one day right after she’d started teething. One of her first front teeth had already broken through the gum, so it hurt like mortal hell when she bit down. I never let on, though, even though the pain was intense, cause it would’ve scared her, and I’d never have done that. To be honest, I almost believe that if I looked closely at my nose right this second that I’d find a tiny little toothmark on it somewhere.
I think back several years ago about the soon-to-be young woman who intently argued with me that her favorite singing group, the New Kids On The Block, would one day be even bigger than Elvis. Of course, I had to tell her that no one would ever be bigger than Elvis but she would accept none of my reasoning. In fact, she’d tell me, utilizing great detail, why the New Kids would one day knock the King off his pedestal. She fervently believed it, and to be honest, she almost had me believing it. Almost.
So many memories, and so many more continue to rout themselves through my mind. I think if she were sitting here right this second that I’d tell her that I love her more than any twenty people combined on this earth. I’d tell her that she’s very talented, and has a personality that will take her just about any place she wants to go. And, for some reason, I’d want her to tell her old dad that she won’t forget him, and that she understands just how close to my heart she really is. We’re so much alike that we’ve tended to spar with each other over the years, but, in the end, I think she knows just how things stand between us. I think she senses how deeply she affects me, and understands how much joy and richness she adds to my life simply by her very existence. It‘s just hard for me to explain that to her sometimes.
So Varm, enter this phase of your life as you have all others - full of spark, wonder, and determination. Take whatever the world offers you, and see what it has to hold. Above all, know that you take several hearts with you as you travel through this portion of your life. And right now, I think mine is the heaviest of them all.
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