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This weekend you need to head up into your attic to get some work done. You need to pull some wire for the final touches on your sound system. You know you need to get it done. It's the last part of your dream home theater system that needs work. Most of your speaker setup is on the money, but the weak point of your system is the center channel speaker and your two rear channel speakers. Well, my friend, this is the weekend to get those issues sorted out. Home theater bliss is on its way.

You know how to pull wire – how to get the measurements and all that. And the setup of the system is not a problem. That's what 15-year-olds are for. But the actually pulling the wire in from your receiver to the actual speakers could pose a problem. Not that you don't have the skills to do it. You're completely confident with that – you're a man's man. But you need to have the right tools to do the job. But up until now, you haven't found the tool that will let you do your work in such a small space. You need a multi-use attic ladder that will prevent you from stepping through your ceiling into your dining room. You don't need a Clark Griswold situation to tarnish your near flawless home improvement track record. And it is near flawless. Near. Who could have known that that chandelier you installed was way too heavy for your ceiling? And furthermore, who could have predicted that the ceiling would choose not to support the chandelier right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner? That is neither here nor there.

All these troubles are certainly worth it. You just got the collector's edition of “Dawn of the Dead” last Tuesday. You know, the edition with 20 hours of director's commentary, deleted scenes, making and storyboards. The sooner the speakers are done, the sooner you can watch a zombie movie the way it was intended to be seen, sorry, experienced.

Then you're watching the toob, sipping a frosty beverage and you see an infomercial talking about a ladder. Not just some crummy normal ladder, but a man's ladder. The Little Giant ladder is the means to an end. A classic zombie movie. So you go and pick one up from your local hardware giant. You're instantly able to get into the attic and get that speaker wire pulled. The ladder helped get you into the attic, and it helped you get your stuff done in a minimal time. See you'd love to spend your Saturday crab crawling around in your spiderhole of an attic, but you've got some extra-butter popcorn waiting for you. That and a La-Z-Boy. That said, you got your home theater dialed in. Speakers and all. If you weren't such a man's man, you'd probably shed a tear or two at the sheer beauty of the whole thing. But you're a MAN, and you've got some zombie films to watch. And you've got nothing to thank than your sheer genius and a Little Giant Ladder to thank. Happy DVD-extra watching.