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France, casting aside its usual insistence on diplomacy, even when it's obvious to every person who happens to be alert that it can't work, finally grew impatient with Iran's centrifuge-rattling behavior and launched a unilateral attack on it.

As French mirage jets swooped down on Iran's nuclear facilities and French troops launched a land assault from warships in the Persian Gulf, the United States and Britain voiced immediate objections.

President Bush said, 'I just don't understand why the French have gone ahead and attacked Iran without consulting us. It's just not right to do things without having your allies on board.'

Tony Blair stated, 'I would have thought President Chirac would have given more time for diplomacy to work. After all, we know it's going to be at least a month or more before Iran has an atomic bomb.'

On the other hand, German Chancellor Merkel voiced support for the French attack, saying, 'I actually felt it was time for a European leader to act as highhandedly as the Americans did in Iraq."

'Meanwhile, President Jacques Chirac dismissed allied concerns and vowed to continue his go-it-alone policies, stating, "I was at my cattle ranch in Bordeaux, when I realized Iran is even closer to France than it is to America. Of course, we usually wait for America to carry on a war we know is necessary for our own safety. It's cheaper and a lot more popular with French voters. But I decided this is one war the French had to foot the bill for, even without American and British approval.'

The U. N. has not yet issued a comment on the preemptive French strike. At the time of this writing, Secretary General Kofi Annan had only recently finished his morning coffee, the beverage that has long been named after him, and he was just about to wander over to the General Assembly to see if any diplomats wanted to discuss the possibility of discussing the attack.

On the way, he commented, 'You'd think Jacques would have at least given me us some advance notice. Although a lot of people have come to doubt it, the U. N. is still here.'