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Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which place them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less. (There are no guarantees on how this will affect your waist line though.)

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? Don't tell me. I want to believe that they do.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Will these preservatives make me look younger or fresher?

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts" - so if you are feeling stressed, try some desserts.

This little tongue and cheek discussion was provided for amusement only. Feel free to forward it to your chocoholic friends. They are sure to enjoy it.