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Women tell me that the biggest reason they contemplate quitting is because they don't think they can say and do what they're being taught to - even when their upline is a woman. Here's a stark example of something like that.

It's been a tradition in our industry to lead with recruiting, and then to emphasize the "big money, free time," the "big check" or the flashy cars, and "mansion on the hill."

Although not even ONE percent actually attains anything resembling a "big check" (say $10,000/mo or more), to say nothing of the mansions and flashy cars, it is the way the men have always led and presented the business, and they've taught women to lead the same way.

Of course, those who actually HAVE the big checks and new cars are often used do 3-ways with other distributors, so that the big check story can be told. It's standard fare.

It so happens that one big kahuna woman earner, who was in the last Nylon Woman class, fessed up that for the last few years, she too, told any new woman prospects her big money story. After all, that was the practice in her company too. Often, though, she told me the woman prospect would decline, much to the surprise of my successful friend.

So why would leading with the big money or mansion story NOT work with most women prospects?

Three reasons right off.

1) Most women in our business, and those looking, are PART TIME. They have perhaps 5-10 hours a week. Do we take them for such nitwits that they cannot figure out that there is no way with 5-10 hours a week, that they will get the big money or mansion on the hill anytime soon, especially when it's likely that her husband, who is working 60 hours a week, is not doing either of those things yet?

2) Did anyone ask HER what SHE is looking for? Before they start bragging and strutting their stuff?

3) Most women, research has shown, do not respond well to bragging and big hype. Unlike men, who apparently do it and respond to it better.

Martha Barletta, researcher on women's buying habits, tells men marketers:

"No need to strut your stuff. One way men earn each other's trust is to communicate their track records. A guy will talk about how good he is as a way of proving he can do a great job: 'Half of my clients are worth over a million dollars,' he'll say. Or 'I doubled his return in six months.' They talk about achievements, drop names, and let you know where they stand in the company hierarchy." She continues,

"I call these credibility displays, because they remind me of a peacock who's very proud of his tail feathers. Don't get me wrong - this is the right thing to do in male gender culture...But women don't brag. They'll tolerate it quietly, but they won't be impressed. As a matter of fact, rather than buidling respect, credibility displays are much more likely to ruin rapport."
-"Marketing to Women",
Martha Barletta, 2003

What say you? Shall we stop doing the credibility displays (your own or that of a top earner) on that "first date" with a woman? So as to stop "ruining rapport" with them by mistake? And on the first date, no less?

And remember, one of those part time women, the Nylon Woman, might go full time later, as you can see in the "Nylon Woman story".

What say you?

Kim Klaver is Harvard & Stanford educated. Her 20 years experience in network marketing have resulted in a popular blog, KimKlaverBlogs.com, a podcast, YourGreatThing.com and a giant resource site, BananaMarketing.com which features hundreds of stories, tips, books and CD programs for those who want to learn the art of network marketing.