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You've always prided yourself on your ability to figure out the root of any given problem. For example, that leak in your ceiling? It was obviously caused by that confused woodpecker you've heard up there. Oh yes, you've got an answer of everything, and now it's time to start coming up with some answers about your appearance.

You're getting on in years, and the age spots are beginning to show. Of course, you've got your own thoughts as to why these awful age spots have surfaced and ruined your handsome, swarthy. It's not because you're older, it's because your skin hates you.

You've told your friends the theory you have about your age spots, and they just laugh. After all, how could your skin hate you? Things happen to skin as you get older, and age spots are just part of the process. You explain that it's perfectly obvious: You've done lots of things that your skin hasn't liked.

It all started when you were a kid. You loved playing in the field near your house, and that field was full of poison ivy. Your skin warned you that it wasn't such a good idea to play there. To prove its point it started itching and oozing. You didn't care ' you just put some lotion on an kept playing.

Then, when you were seven you got the chicken pox. Your skin really didn't like being inflamed and itchy, and let you know by erupting in little sores. Your parents warned you that you shouldn't scratch those little sores, but you did anyway. Well, once the chicken pox was over, you were left with some nice scars too.

In your teenage years, it was all about being tough. You didn't like wearing mittens or anything like that, so you just left your hands out in the cold all the time. Your skin didn't like being cold, and oh boy, did it let you know! Your skin became tough and cracked, and you even got frostbite a couple of times. Luckily, you were smart enough to put your hands in hot water, otherwise you probably would have lost a couple of fingers thanks to your foolishness!

Then, as an adult, you decided to become a carpenter. Long days of building without gloves (yes, still) resulted in chafed hands and lots of splinters. That's not even including the time that you burned your hand near a faulty electrical socket. Then, of course, there were all those times you worked under the hot sun without any suntan lotion. The result was many, many sunburns, and lots of extra freckles. You've estimated that you've gotten at least fifty really bad sunburns in your life.

Yes, your skin has certainly been through a lot over the years, and now it's time to take its revenge. You're older, yes, but with your skin the way it is, you look like you're nearly a hundred years old! Now, you admit, you should have listened to your poor, angry, damaged skin.