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Fear is a huge part of social anxiety. In fact, social anxiety is based on fear - the fear of social situations. However, dealing with social anxiety requires confronting your fear. If fear is not dealt with, social anxiety cannot be dealt with. This doesn't mean that the fear goes away, it just means that you can confront it and deal with it, instead of avoiding it or running away from it.

Think of fear as an obstacle, instead of a solid brick wall with no beginnings and no ends - that sort of wall can not be penetrated - but obstacles can be moved, and if they cannot be moved, you can find a way around them. Picture the fear in your mind as one of those road blocks that are used when roads are closed. There is always a way around.

When you see that road block, stop for a minute, and think about why that road is closed - what is causing the fear? This isn't always easy to do, because most of your attention is going to be on the fear itself - not on what is causing the fear. You have to make a conscious effort to ignore the fear for a minute, and figure out why you are feeling fear.

Once you know why the road is closed - or what is causing the fear - the next step is to construct a plan for getting around the road block - or getting around the fear. Sometimes, it is best to drive straight through the road block, and confront whatever is on the other side of it head on. Other times, it is better to go around it and find another way. First, determine what danger there may be on the other side of the road block - or the fear. Is there danger that puts your life at risk? Will the world end? Probably not. Just realizing that you are not in physical danger makes fear alot less powerful.

Next, determine how far the fear is going to go? The situation that is causing you fear will eventually end. You will go home, the sun will come up tomorrow. This particular fear will be gone. Fear won't want you to believe this of course, because it knows that if you believe this, it loses power and control, and you gain power and control.

When you have the ability to stop and look at fear, and analyze it, the fear loses control and power, and you gain that control and power. It doesn't mean the fear goes away. It means you are back in control. Seeing fear, walking right up to it, then ignoring that it exists and doing what you needed to do anyway is a very powerful feeling. Just as energy creates more energy, a sense of control creates an even stronger sense of control. You control the fear, it doesn't control you.

You simply have to make a conscious decision to be in control. It is hard to do this when fear is right in front of you. You have to make this decision, and construct a plan before fear presents itself, then you have to be able to put that plan into effect right away when fear shows up. This may take quite a bit of practice, but it can be done if you want it badly enough.

Gary Miller is the author of "Prisoners of Our Thoughts: How to break free from the grips of Social Anxiety and Fear." To learn more about the book click here to go to the website at www.social-anxiety-cure.com.