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A First Aid Kit For A Teenager's Rebellion - Articles Surfing
Every teenager's gotta blast through a rebellion period at one stage in their lives or other. It doesn't have to be a white-hot, out-and-out revolt. You know. It's the one with house-shattering, door-slamming tantrums spiced with shouting matches the whole neighborhood's ears can feast on.
And it need not be anything blatantly 'screaming' at you to recognize it at first glance.
All that matters is this: Teens begin to assert themselves one day so you notice them through their rebellion behavior. It must be encoded in all of us somewhere. So, it's a reasonable expectation to have during upbringing a child.
This form of revolt is often a manner of grabbing your attention. And it's their 'down-and-dirty way' for them to test you along the way.
Experiment a little and take notes. Take a closer look at your teen's behavior. You'll discover that most of their days are spent in testing you in a wide range of ways, or even shock waves. Let's see exactly how far they can push you by pressing your hottest buttons.
Depending on how you respond to their 'innocent and unauthorized' testing, they vary their tactics with a great skill. Over time, they uncover exact tricks that yield the wanted reaction from you to their claims or actions. In short, they'll be able to read you like a book ' if you refuse to gently outsmart the angels turned bandits.
Come to think of it, they've been up to these little minitricks since the day the stork left your doorstep. What will you give in to next? That's the whole reason they 'train' you to rush to their side when they cry, or give in to their pleas for one more toy. Bet you remember that clearly, right?
To rub it in, they know that a bad behavior at home is not tolerated well. But hey, a fit thrown in the middle of a store to embarrass you, now that's powerful ammunition. As a result, they either get what they want (maybe not), or they get dragged back home immediately for an urgent reprimand.
But wait, getting home 'earlier' might be just what they wanted anyway in the first place. 'Cause there's that hot new movie they wanted to watch, they'd use any means necessary in order to gaze at the big screen for hours.
Enough! In so many ways, you're getting the general drift here, right? Kids know you like a palm of their own hand. They know what you'll give in to. And that's almost from the first few days after birth. Scary and exciting at the same time, isn't it?
These web-of-intrigue games only heap on and rack up a notch or two when kids reach the teenage years. How far can they exploit the home pastures in their search for independence now?
You've gotta watch it closely, though. A variable-scale mutiny might be your teen's way of telling you that all's not right in their world. It might be the only way they feel comfortable with to get your undivided attention.
What if a well-adjusted teen starts to rebel all of a sudden with no rhyme or reason that you can see?
There's always a reason. It could even be just to push your hot buttons and have some fun in their life, which may seem boring at the time. Crikey!
You are the closest person they can reach to. To make their world right again, and noticing your first clue, take a big breath, sit down and talk with them.
Don't brush'em off. Give them genuine attention. Sit down. Listen. Discuss. And listen again. Aha. Hmmm. I see. How can I help? What do you think you need to do?
Let them decide and make mistakes. As you already know, most of life lessons need to be lived to be understood.
In the present times of workaholics anonymous, feeling trapped, inability to sleep and constant worries about inadequate time spent with your family, here's your chance to develop better parenting skills.
I know. It sounds 'first-aidish'. And it is. Being there for them often helps a lot. And it does wonders for building a better relationship with your teenagers and their self-esteem. It's fairly simple to do. It costs almost nothing, but can bring about pleasant, long-lasting changes for 'both sides of the story. '
Copyright © 1995 - Photius Coutsoukis (All Rights Reserved).
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