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If you have been trying to lose weight and control your eating unsuccessfully, then you are an expert at what doesn't work. By now you have discovered that you have terrific willpower because you have been able to follow a programmed diet for several months many times over. Willpower is not the problem. You have more willpower than most people. Calorie counting and food combining is not the problem. You know more about food than some professionals. Give yourself a break and stop trying things that don't work. Trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. So what can you do that is different? Start by making a list of what has not worked in the past and then write the opposite of those items. I have provided you with a lengthy list to start from (see below). As you read through it notice which items resonate with you. Place a check mark next to those items. You now have a list of things to do that will empower you.

Start by making small changes. Pick one item from the list to work on. Decide on one small action you can take to get the ball rolling. After you master the first item, move on to the next one. Do not overwhelm yourself by attempting too much at once. You are not in a competition. There is no race to win. The goal is to retrain your habits one step at a time.

Change takes time. Be gentle but honest with yourself as you go through the process. Keep a journal of your successes. Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts (however not with food). Make your intentions and successes public by posting them in the End Emotional Eating Yahoo group http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/endemotionaleating. Announcing your intentions publicly gives them more energy and makes you accountable. Lend support to others who post their intentions. Helping someone else is uplifting. The more support you give and you get, the more likely you are to stay on track. The Yahoo group is new. Be brave and post anyway, the list will grow. I look forward to hearing about your results and to lend support where needed.

What Works and What Doesn't Work: (The first list is what doesn't work. The second list is what does work. This is intented to be a table format so imagine the second list next to the first list to see the correlation between the items. To see this in a table format where each item is listed with it's opposite next to it go to http://www.innercorecoaching.com )

Doesn't Work Eat anythingEat anytimeStuff down angerTell yourself it won't make a differenceTell yourself one time doesn't matterMake one mistake and decide the day is shot Don't exerciseBelieve you are not worth the time and effortBe accountable to no oneBlame yourselfCriticize yourselfBlame othersCriticize othersDietRead more diet books and magazines Compare yourself to airbrushed modelsGiving upNegative self talkDistract yourself from the real issuesBelieve you are not enoughLive in self pityLive in denialExcessive worrySay yes to everyoneBelieve if you do more you will be worthy and valuedAdd your own ideas to the list

Does Work

Have a food planHave preset boundaries around meal and snack timesExpress anger appropriately thru journaling, talking it out, exercising etc.Know that it will and you are worth itOne bite will lead to the next, so don't start down that pathAnytime of day is a good time to restartExercise will make you feel better physically and mentallyKnow that you are well worth every effort you make; don't compare yourself to someone elseHave regular check in with a buddyHave compassion for yourselfBe gentle with yourself as you would with a small childForgive them for not being perfectOffer them helpChange your thinking to a healthy lifestyleRead inspirational materialGet real!Give up for 5 minutes; then pick yourself up and go onReplace with positive talkPlan a set amount of time to focusKnow that you are already enough exactly the way you areStart every day in gratitude and self appreciationThis is a way to sabotage yourselfMeditateSet clear boundaries with peopleRepeat to yourself (mantra) I am already enough exactly the way I am

Change is possible if you focus on what is directly in front of you.