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Happiness is more than just having a personal joy. The most ideal state is when you are happy and everyone around you are also happy as well. However, sometime, we might need to be a little selfish in order to pursuit our happiness. There are Chinese saying 'If I don't care about myself, I will not be able to do anything even when the heaven falls down onto earth.'

It may be seen as a selfish thought but on the other hand, we are responsible for our own happiness too. We need to take charge of our life. We have a choice to choose to be happy and by choosing the choice to be happy preframes our mind to be happy.

Yet, there are times when we build our happiness on others' sorrow. It may be unavoidable but this kind of happiness would not last. The root of happiness should not be based on negative reasons or objectives. For example, avoiding the work that need to be done and indirectly caused your friend/colleague to carry the load and you find yourself smiling as you avoided work. This particular source of happiness will not last and it destroys your image.

Now, let's take a look from another view. What if you are the person who keeps being 'sabotaged' and you keep quiet and endure through the extra work. Would you be happy? Even I would feel extremely unhappy for you. This is why we need to stand up and take control of ourselves. We choose to be happy! We do things that make up happy but not building our happiness on others.

A nice guy can be happy if he loves to help others and enjoys doing what he does. But if another person takes advantage of him and build his happiness on the poor guy. It is really fair? I don't think so.

I am not trying to ask you not to be Mr Nice Guy, the point I hope to bring across is that we control our life, our happiness lies in our own hands. Remember, we all have a choice.