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. . . so people won't laugh at you for lying.

"What do you mean, lying?" I hear you ask.

I'm talking about body language--the subconscious story you tell people. You tell with your body what you think of yourself generally and at the moment. It may be the opposite of what you are saying.

You know, don't you, that we all learn how to walk at least twice. Some go on to learn a few more times. The first time, of course, is around age one. The second time occurs between ages 13 and 17. That's when we are deciding who we are. We practice walking, consciously. Remember?

After a while the walk becomes subconscious. Gestures do, too.

Every time I struggle to express a concept verbally to a listener, I run my left hand through my hair. I am never aware of doing it or of messing up my hairstyle. I must be trying to relax my frontal lobes so I can find the words to make sense. I don't see myself walk or dance, either, but I do know I've always had tight shoulders.

Tight shoulders reveal anxiety. Existential anxiety.

If you read "Self for Sale", you know how body language is part of your frame, how you frame every offer you make.

And, no matter what you do every day, you are making an offer to somebody in exchange for something. (Unless you're a hermit.)

It's fun to watch mimes perform. They can say so much with their bodies.

My stepdaughter has a master's degree in dance therapy. When I asked, she explained that she studies a client's body language. She knows which habitual movements express negative feelings and which positive ones. She works with recovering drug addicts who have very few natural positive motions. These she encourages to become habitual. The negative moves she discourages. Her clients are learning how to walk again. And dance.

Actors and politicians learn how to walk more than twice, too. It's fun to watch political speeches on television with the sound muted. Even if a president is reading from a teleprompter and has rehearsed all his gestures beforehand, his subconscious still tells a tale. How you intrepret it, of course, depends on your subconscious.

We kid ourselves when we think we are rational.

In fact, knowing we are not rational can be a saving grace, the beginning of a better life. It certainly was for me. I tell all about it in Brainsweep.

I'm sure you know that there are several ways to change our subconscious tales. All it really takes is realizing we are telling them. After that we can write them out, as in Brainsweep, hypnotize them into changing, as in Centerpointe, Sedona, and Effort-free Living, dance them out or Method Act them out. (I'm guessing on the Method Act one)

Of course, if you like the tales you're telling now, just keep on dancing.

Evy, The Whole-mind Writer

P.S. Next time you watch TV, mute the sound and guess what each person is really saying.

Copyright 2006 Cole's Poetic License