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Some people would have you believing that being fat is the worst thing you can be. They think that if a person is fat they have no life, no love, no reason to want to look good in their clothes. The sad thing is that many people who are fat do feel the same loathing toward themselves and others who are overweight or obese.

I know what I'm talking about because I have been there. I have been that fat girl who wore big T-shirts to cover my 'sins'. Forget style. Forget fashion sense. I absolutely had none. I didn't even bother getting haircuts for years, just wore my hair long and straight, pulled back in a ponytail or a braid, as if I was still a beaded hippie living in the sixties.

I have to wonder if the reason the fashion industry has ignored plus sized women and children for so long is because plus sized people, feeling they couldn't possibly look great, didn't bother shopping for new clothes, therefore no profit was to be found by producing those sizes.

What if the opposite is true? What if the reason I hate shopping is because when I walk in to a store that has rack after rack of gorgeous clothes, the chances are great that I will not find a single thing that fits? And for me, being short and fat is a double whammy. Even the plus sized stores have very little to choose from if a person wears plus sized petite clothing.

For me, the change that improved my outer look actually started with my outlook on life. I started by being grateful for all I do have, like great health, a stable family, a steady income, freedom, a decent home, the ability to see the trees turn orange in the fall, to hear my grandson humming in the back seat, to smell freshly brewed coffee, to remember the great times I've had in my life.

I started to focus on all the positive aspects of the life I already had. I actually started to feel the beauty of the Universe all around me and to realize that I am part of that perfection. I started to feel the love that had always been there for the taking. The self loathing stopped. I noticed all the people in my life who loved me in spite of my size. I got off the pity pot and smiled at myself. I acknowledged my shame and embarrassment and moved through that too.

Lo and behold, I got my hair cut into a flattering style, started using a little makeup to enhance my natural beauty and kept searching until I found some more stylish clothes. I also found myself eating healthier food and exercising more regularly, mainly to protect my health. There was something about feeling great on the inside that made me want to look as great as I felt. It was for me, for the reflection in the mirror, the smiling reflection, my outer look.

So, if you are sad, embarrassed about your size, depressed about your wardrobe, into self loathing and mistreating your health, go right now into your bathroom, wash your face, comb your hair and brush your teeth and then look at yourself in the mirror, make eye contact with your inner beauty and smile. Then repeat after me: 'I am a beautiful being, worthy of feeling and looking my best.'

How about it? Love yourself first, everything else will work out. I promise.