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No matter how successful they become, many people suffer from the fear of being truly independent, self-confident, mature, and fabulous. Mel Gibson's recent DUI with accompanying abusive and antisemitic behavior is a prime example.

The fear of being fabulous. What is it? Where does it come from?

Scores of people dream of being super successful and imagine how idyllic their lives would be. But what they don't expect is the drag of the unconscious undertow that keeps them stuck in old patterns fueled by emotional allegiances that sabotage their most cherished prize'wealth and worldly acclaim.

As a psychology team we've been working with world famous as well as ordinary individuals for over eighteen years. We've seen how the fear of being fabulous runs roughshod over intelligence, ambition, celebrity, desire, even charisma. Mel Gibson is just the most recent example.

Gibson's father, an avowed anti-Semite, publicly stated that the Holocaust never happened. And when this came to light during the huge success of Gibson's film, "The Passion of the Christ," Gibson consistently rose to his father's defense.

Why would Gibson defend such unconscionable behavior?

Bbecause, psychologically, the superstar has never truly grown up.

On Friday July 28th, Gibson drove wildly down Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, 87 miles per hour in a 45 MPH zone'drunk.

Is that the behavior of a truly mature man? Especially since this was not the first time he was stopped?

And he kept repeating to the police officers who arrested him, "My life is f****d, My life is f****d."

Why would he condemn his seemingly fabulous a life, a life most people can only fantasize about?

Because inside, he is terrified. Not of his movie making skills but of the unconscious demons he has never been able to exorcize.

And how does this tie to his roots? During the arrest this father's very loyal, unconsciously shackled son screamed obscenities about the Jews his father so hates and blamed them for all the wars.

In our practice, we have seen, over and over again, how men and women alike, often at the top of their game, are brought to their knees by what we have come to call The Fear of Being Fabulous' They are imprisoned by their unconscious dedication to a destructive belief about themselves that becomes particularly virulent when they are most successful.

The fact is most people live lives dominated by the fear of being fabulous. The only difference is that when the superstars succumb, their tragic flaws are exposed for all the world to see.

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Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski
judithandjim@judithandjim.com
518-734-3657

Note: Republication and reprinting of this article is allowed as long as proper author credits and, if published online, a link back to http://www.fearofbeingfabulous.com is provided.

Best-selling authors and husband and wife Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD, are internationally acclaimed authorities on The Fear of Being Fabulous'. For tips on overcoming the fear of being fabulous go to: http://www.fearofbeingfabulous.com