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'So, Yoshi, what did you learn at that other martial arts school? Got any cool moves?'

It was my buddy Stu, the guy who'd accused me of practicing 'Sit On Your Ass Kung Fu' when I was recovering from bone spurs in my feet. Now, Stu and I go waaay back. He told all sorts of tales about me when I was dating the woman I eventually married, and most of them were true. Fortunately for me, she didn't listen to him! But, even so, there's been a gentle rivalry going on between us for years. Well, gentle aside from sparring matches, practical jokes and ribbing that causes my wife to swear that we're idiotic males, if those two terms aren't overly redundant.

'Remember the old 70s show 'Kung Fu?' It turns out that David Carradine actually did do a decent amount of work in the traditional Shao Lin styles for that TV series.' Stu was, frankly, disbelieving. Now, I'm not a fully trained practitioner of traditional Shao Lin kung fu. Mostly I got bits and pieces from studying the two different forms of Snake Style Kung Fu, and spending some class time at Master Jung's academy, just observing and following the forms. So, in spite of my newfound knowledge, and the fact that I probably did have a couple of tricks to show off, let's just say that for the briefest moment that discretion looked like the more significant portion of valor.

Unfortunately for my shoulder, it passed. Remember folks, I do stupid things in Martial Arts so you don't have to. I am learning. We actually put on the protective gear, and went out to the mat room at the dojo. (All men owe a debt of gratitude to the person who invented the protective cup!)

So I showed Stu the stances. Bear, and Crane and Tiger. We watched a little bit of David Carradine kicking butt back in the Ford administration, and he could see them done correctly, sort of. (The fight choreography on those old shows leaves a bit to be desired, to be honest), and then we tried some combinations and sparring. Stu noticed, as did I, that the traditional Shao Lin kung fu style has a more upright stance, and focuses more on punches. He tried a couple of strikes at me, I blocked, and then I threw the counters I'd been taught.

Now, in case you've forgotten, Stu is significantly larger than I am. He's built like a tractor. I threw a combination at him, he did the first block, and a deflection, and then missed the third shot in the combo by being slow by a hair. Unfortunately, slow by a hair meant that he got surprised and went on pure reflex, turning away from the punch and doing a full extension-and-lock pattern, throwing me against the mat. Hard. Harder, in fact, than I'd expected ' remember that higher stance? Well, it pulls the center of gravity up, and I didn't take the fall well. The shoulder wasn't separated, but it's still sore.

I can see there's still a lot more to learn about traditional Shao Lin Kung Fu. Once my shoulder stops hurting.