Article Surfing Archive

I once worked with a woman whose zest,joy and enthusiasm lit up the room [and it was a big office!]

I remarked that it was lovely that she was always such uplifting company.

"Oh,I wasn't always like this", she replied. "It all changed when my dad died, when I was about forty."

"Was he that bad?" I asked her.

"On the contray," she told me "he was wonderful." However, just before he died he made a confession:

"Darling, I have ruined my life with worry. And not one thing I've worried about has ever happened! Don't let the same thing happen to you!"

Something "clicked" within her. And she kicked her worry habit from then on!

If you need something to 'click' to stop you worrying I hope the following helps:

Often when a worry 'pops in' the normal reaction is to try and solve it. This is fine if there is something tangible that can be done right now. However, many worries are either entirely imaginary, or a small 'problem' is blown out of all proportion.

So what happens is that you try to 'solve' what doesn't exist. The more you try and solve it the worse the 'problem' gets.

A wise old woman once said to me "Why are you worrying what you're going to say to so and so a week on Monday? You'll be there' you'll know!"

Lets take an imaginary, but common, example:

Miss Anxious starts worrying that she may lose her job. She tries to solve this imaginary 'problem' by looking for a new job. But if she can't get another one, she'll have to sell the house. And if it doesn't sell and she can't afford the mortgage payements....and so on, until she's pushing a shopping cart, containing all her belongings, around the streets...

In reality Miss Anxious is lying on a lovely beach 'enjoying' a well earned break from a hectic career!

By the way, her boss finds her invaluable.

A very effective way to 'solve' this sort of imaginary worrying is to let the thought be there, but not trying to 'solve' it.

This may sound simple, but it's very powerful. It's common to get worries popping into our minds. They are often nothing, just bits of nonsense. Not worth our attention. Trying to push them away or solve them can make them into monsters.

Just let them be, until they leave on their own. And they will. If another 'worry' takes its place, treat it in the same way.

Miss Anxious has just read this and now she's enjoying her well earned holiday. Somewhere there's a slightly worrying thought at the edge of her mind. But she's giving most of her attention to the wonderful present moment.

Enjoy your present moment, be in the now, and everything will take care of itself.